A Witter Affair To Remember
by Golden Snitch1981
Summary: This is my first time writing a Dawson's Creek fan fiction. This story is set in current time, so the characters are the age they would be if the show was still running. It focuses on Gretchen Witter's return home to Capeside for the wedding of her brother (which brother is yet to be revealed) and inevitable reunion with Dawson Leery.
1. Chapter 1

Not since my father's passing, and the subsequent the fight I had with my mother, had I returned to little seaside town that had been my childhood home, and I wondered if I had made the right decision. It had been too painful to consider returning before that day. There had been no reason, until that day, to return, but there I was stepping off the bus, fresh from Boston, with just an oversized duffle bag and the reason was my brother had finally convinced someone, after ten years together, to spend the rest of their life with him.

So it was time for me, the youngest of the Witter Sisters to swallow my pride and face my mother and the many other demons of my past that had kept me away so long. I took a long laboured breath, savouring that long forgotten sea breeze and with my duffle in tow, I took my first step forward in the direction of the cab that would take me to the Potter BnB.

It was as if time had stopped since 2001 when I flew the coop, taking that job in Boston and leaving the the love of my life behind. Well at least that's what it seemed in that quiet little place on the edge of what was once thought of as the 'wrong side' of the creek. Wooden pinwheels spun rapidly, fuelled by the soft breeze. I could hear a wooden chime sounding feintly on the porch above the steps.

As I climbed those steps, I was greeted by a tall, scowling teenage boy with coal black hair, mocha coloured skin and round, round garnet coloured eyes. "Oh, hey!" The scowl was gone, replaced by a broad welcoming smile. "Here let me help you with that."

Instantly I liked the boy who was taking the duffle from my shoulder, but I was also surprised by how he had grown up, since I had seen him last. "Thanks… Alexander, isn't it?"

"Call me Alex," he said. "And you would be Gretchen?" I nodded, surprised this kid, who was a mere toddler before I left Capeside, would remember who I was. "Uncle Pacey said you would be staying with us."

"Speaking of my brother, is he around? Or your aunt Joey?" I asked.

Alex shook his head. "My aunt is over at the Icehouse in town and my uncle is with uncle Dougie. Wedding stuff."

"Of course!" I exclaimed. "And how is the new Sheriff Witter?" I hadn't seen either of my brothers in years and the mention of my brother still made me shudder. Naturally, he had followed in dad's footsteps and rose through the ranks on the force. Just as expected he also had taken Mom's side during our fight. I had hoped raising a little girl with Jack McPhee would mellow him, but he remained as righteous as ever.

Alex shrugged, "Eh! He's the Sheriff Dougie." We both laughed. "Your room is this way." He started towards a solid oak door, fumbling for the key.

"Wait! Don't I have check in first? Where's your Mom?" A shadow crossed his face, making me wonder if I should be worried about Joey's sister, Bessie.

He forced the smile back on his face. "You're family. Your stay is on us," he said a little too quick. I couldn't help hearing a little waver in his voice. "I'll leave you to settle in."

"Sure," I said, but he had set my duffle down and was already out of sight, leaving me alone with my confusion. I unzipped my duffle and pulled the blue dress, I had brought to wear to the wedding, out rolling it out flat, before I hung it on one of the hangers in the closet. Next I set my toiletry pack on the dresser. It was then I heard Alex outside, his voice seemingly recovered from the mere mention of his mother, as welcomed another guest. I wondered how busy and who else I would be sharing the Potter's one bathroom with that weekend?

"Another familiar voice cut into my thoughts and I froze." It was a voice I had not heard in many years, not since we went our separate ways. It shouldn't have been a surprise he had came back to Capeside for the wedding, but hearing his footsteps getting louder in the hall, had my heart thumping loud in my chest and my feet glued, paralysed, to the floor.

Now a big shot Hollywood director, Dawson Leery could've stayed anywhere in Capeside, at one of the fancy hotel chains in town or at the Leery House, so I wondered why he'd chosen the humble Potter BnB as his temporary residence that weekend.

"Gretchen Witter!" Dawson exclaimed, stopping in the doorway to poke his head into my room. Alex must've mentioned I was here, I thought, ruining any chance of laying low that weekend.

"Dawson!" I replied.

He smiled, stepping in to to give me a hug. "How long's it been?" His arms felt surprisingly comforting and warm, even after all the time that had passed. I could feel myself momentarily relaxing into hug.

"Too long," I answered.

He pulled back from the hug to meet my eyes. "Wow! I must say you look as beautiful ever."

I blushed, thanking him quickly, not sure how to take this compliment, but before I could stop myself I returned the sentiment, taking in the muscles visible under his sports jacket. We stood in silence, staring at each other, like a pair of awkward teenagers, both if us searching our minds for something to say.

"Boy this place doesn't change much, does it!" He finally exclaimed.

"I guess not," I agreed. "Um…"

"So…" Dawson sighed as his eyes darted towards the door. "I better go settle in."

"Sure." I watched Dawson leave, part relieved, and the other part wanting him to turn around look at me like he used to and really see me the way he did in the wide eyed Dawson Leery way. Of course he didn't, and for the second time that day, I wondered if I had made the right decision, coming back to Capeside.


	2. Chapter 2

I could hear sobbing down the hall that night as I lay in my bed, and ignoring my inner voice, telling me to ignore it, turn over and try to sleep, I threw the covers back and swung my legs around onto the floor as I sat up, planting my feet into a pair of complementary Potter BnB slippers. I combed my fingers through the tangled mess of hair on the back of my head before standing.

I padded my way down the hall, past Dawson's room, thankful his door was closed and acutely aware of the sound my feet made on the wooden floor.

On the other side of the hall was another door, and it was through this door that the sobs were coming from. As I peered in, I saw Alex sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at a framed photograph on the bedside table. The soft glow of a lamp revealed that the photograph was of a much younger Alex and Bessie. I watched him pick that photo up with one hand, and wipe away a tear with the other.

Sure that the boy would prefer to be by himself in that moment, I continued down the hall to the bathroom, where I washed my face, and fixed my hair a little, though unsure why. I squinted my eyes a little as I took in my reflection in the above the sink, noting how it had aged, particularly so recently, especially the faint lines at the edge of my eyes. I wondered what Dawson had meant with that compliment earlier. Was he for real, or just being polite?

"Oh, sorry!" I jumped as Dawson's voice cut in to my thoughts. "I didn't know anyone was I here.

"It's ok, I was just leaving." I said, rushing past him. "Bathroom is all yours."

"Gretchen wait!" He called. I stopped. "Is something the matter?"

"No, why?" I answered.

"I can't help thinking that my being here is bothering you, somehow." he said. "I can check out tomorrow and go stay at Mom's the rest of the weekend"

"No, there's no need for that." I said, feeling more than a little embarrassed. What had come over me since Dawson arrived earlier? Surely I could put the past behind me, couldn't I? I was starting to wonder if it was residual guilt I was feeling about the way I had left Dawson all those years before. I didn't doubt for a second I had done the right thing to leave. We were headed, literally, in opposite directions and neither of us could've pursued our dreams and stayed together, and Dawson was so willing to abandon his dream to follow me while I pursued mine, but I wondered if I was a little cowardly, not sticking around at least to say goodbye. "Dawson, can we talk?"

"Sure." He smiled. "I'll come to your room when I finish up in here."

I padded back down the hall, past Alex's room, where his light was now off, back to my room. I turned the lamp on, by my bedside, and sat on my bed, fiddling once again with my hair.

Minutes later, Dawson was standing at my door. I motioned for him to come in and he made a beeline for the chair at the desk near the window. He turned it around and sat, resting his arms across the back of it. "Funny, I did the same thing after Mitch died," he whispered, glancing out the door towards Alex's room.

"Dawson did I miss something? What's happened to Bessie?" I asked.

"Cancer," Dawson answered. "Alex completely shut down after she died. Pacey and Joey are helping him with the BnB."

"I have missed a lot! How did I not know any of this?" Don't answer that." I added, suddenly full of regret, that I hadn't tried harder to stay in contact with my brother.

"Gretchen -,"

"Dawson, I-,"

We both laughed. "You first," we both said at the same time. Dawson laughed again.

"Dawson, I wanted to say I'm sorry, you know, for the way I left things with us."

"Its ancient history," he replied.

"Yeah I know." I paused. "It took me a long time to let you go, and seeing you today, I think I realised I haven't really, not yet."

"Me too, but looking back, I understand it." Dawson's eyes misted over a little. "I needed to forge my own path. Hollywood was my dream as you know."

"You have no idea, how proud I am of you," I said, tearing up. " And you know who else would be?"

"Who?"

"Mr Brooks."

. "Who knew that miserable old bastard would become my all time hero and friend."

"Just think, if you hadn't crashed his boat, you might not have uncovered one of Hollywood's greatest treasures, right here in Capeside!" I said.

We both sat in silence for a minute thinking about Arthur Brooks, the man who reinvigorated Dawson's passion for film, during his senior year. That was the year Dawson revealed what he thought had been his secret little junior high crush on me by showing me a letter he had written but not originally given me. We both knew our age difference would be the thing that would eventually tear us apart, but the gravitational pull we felt towards each other was too strong and saw us defy logic.

We shared more memories, of Mr Brooks and then of the time we took the road trip, ending up stuck on the side of the road. How naive Dawson had been, and how turned on I felt by his innocent outlook on life. At eighteen, he had a boyish sense of wonder that drew me in, had me forgetting the pain of losing my baby months before, and ready to jump on a plane and fly out to LA with him. It was the feeling that I was robbing him of his last chance to keep that innocence that urged me to move on with my life, and the job offer in Boston, to me was a sign that it was the right thing to do, form for me.

It was only when I yawned that I realised we'd been sitting together, reminiscing for almost two hours. In another two hours the sun was due to rise and I knew a busy day was ahead for both of us.

"I guess we better get some sleep." Dawson said, standing and stretching his arms out. He followed that with a yawn.

I crawled under the covers of my bed, feeling more at ease than I had all night and watched as Dawson headed to the door. "It's good to see you again."

"You too." He said. "Goodnight!" With that he was gone, back to his room, shutting my door behind him. I rolled towards the opposite wall and almost instantly was asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee and buttermilk pancakes wafted into my room and woke me from my slumber. I quickly dressed and fixed my hair, contemplating but dismissing the urge to mess around with makeup. Dawson was already in the kitchen with Joey and Pacey, by the time I emerged.

My perpetually jovial brother was in flipping pancakes. There was already a large stack of them on a plate beside the stove. Joey was pouring fresh beans into the coffee maker ready to brew a second batch of coffee. As her arm was raised I noticed the bump where a baby Witter was almost formed. For the first time, I a long time I felt a wave of pure joy wash over me, brought on by the prospect of being an aunt again, only this time to my brother's first child.

"Hey Jo, let me take over here." I offered.

"Thanks, but I can still make coffee," she refused. Her voice softened from her usual determined tone. "Besides you're a guest."

"Behold a Potter with a sense of obligation to do it all on her own, without accepting help from anyone." Dawson teased.

"Spoken like a man who knows me too well, Dawson," Joey retorted.

"I'm also family, Joey, not a paying guest. Let me help out in some way, please?" I pleaded, shooting Dawson a quick smile.

"Hey big sis, if you're looking to be the first Witter ever to earn their keep here, by all means, you can take this stack to the dining room." I took the plate from Pacey and started out of the kitchen.

In the dining room, Alex was setting the table. His eyes barely met mine as he shot me a quick greeting.

"Wow this looks great in here!" I exclaimed a little too enthusiastically.

"Thanks." He muttered. "We aim to please here at the BnB."

"I can't believe this is the first time I've stayed here. You guys have created a wonderful place." I gushed.

"Yeah, when I was a kid Mom and Aunt Joey turned out home into what it is now." Alex explained. "They always said it's what Grandma Lillian would've wanted, but never got to see."

"Yeah my brother told me." I said. "She would be proud of this place, I'm sure, and of you. Your Mom would be too."

"Yeah…" He busied himself with opening a fresh pack of napkins and setting them down around the table at every place before placing the rest in the centre.

"It must be hard, not having your Mom." I said.

"I don't wanna talk about it." He said quickly.

"Sure, I get it. When my dad passed, it took me a while to comprehend he was gone. For ages I couldn't talk about him." A wave of sadness washed over me as we continued setting the table in silence.

John Witter was a hard man, the hardest of all on Pacey and me. It almost destroyed Pacey growing up, but the day I left for college was the first time I'd ever him him utter the words "I'm proud of you," in my direction. Naturally he expressed his bitter disappointment when I returned from college a year out from my graduation year to take the year off and sort my head out. He even went so far as to say how he thought I'd drop out sooner before wasting anymore of his hard earned money from years of policing the town.

Mom always went along with it. "Well someone's gotta serve the drinks and wait on tables," she would say.

It was just like when she corrected Pacey when he talked about being a veterinarian. "Dog grooming groomer, Pace," she'd say, stamping out any possibility of my brother aiming higher in life. "Someone has to be be the dog groomer." Looking back, it was amazing that my brother finished his GED and was on the next boat out of Capeside, considering the two people he needed in his corner expected nothing more of him than to fail.

Our brother of course reveled in being the good son, the favourite of the Witter clan. The then Deputy Doug tormented and belittled Pacey every chance he got and growing up it took all the resistance I had not to slap the smugness right out of him. Pacey put it down to unhappiness that Dougie had to hide behind a hetero sexual facade.

Then when Doug finally came out Pacey became Dad's favourite. Dad never hid his disappointment ever with any of us and he was not about to start hiding the disappointment he felt about Doug, who he'd always seen as his shining star among the chaos that surrounded the rest of us Witters, from me abandoned college, and Pacey blowing all his money on Stepotek and everyone else's, including Dawson's.

When Pacey showed the truly determined character he was and solicited the money Dawson needed to finance his first Hollywood film through donations from local businesses, my Dad could not be prouder. Seeing Pacey's name in the credits of Dawson's remake of Creek Days filled my father with so much pride he conveniently forgot everything he originally said about Pacey being the family screw up.

Doug hated not being the favourite for the first time in his life, but he too came around to being a friend to Pacey, after Jack McPhee moved back to Capeside to teach English at the local high school and coach the Minutemen, and a friendship blossomed between them. I think somewhere along the way, losing Dad and both believing they had failed him, brought Pacey and Doug closer. I guess it made them both realise that they needed each other more that they ever thought. Doug had never felt more alone in dealing with his sexiality and Pacey's friendship with Dawson never fully recovered from the blow of Joey finally choosing between Pacey and Dawson.

I was so deep in thought that I didn't notice Alex had left the dining and was now returning, armed with condiments and with Dawson in tow. He took a place at the table and I took that as my cue to also sit.

"So how are you coping with being back?" I asked.

"I couldn't be happier to be here. They are so great together aren't they?" He said, staring back into the kitchen.

"They are." I agreed. "You know despite everything with Bessie, they really look genuinely happy."

"I never thought I would ever see Joey happy here in Capeside. She was always so intent on leaving here and seeing the world." Dawson mused.

I nodded. "I guess Thomas Wolfe was wrong. You can go home again." Another wave of nostalgia washed over me as I uttered those words. "So what are your plans this morning Dawson?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Well my little sister has been bugging me to come spend some time with her and of course I should see Gail too." Dawson said.

I nodded. "Be sure to say hi to your Mom for me."

"Why don't you come with me!" He suggested.

"I couldn't intrude." I interjected.

"Believe me it wouldn't be an intrusion." Dawson insisted.

Thinking there was nothing needed of me that morning until later, I agreed. "Sure, why not."


	4. Chapter 4

We stood on the porch and Dawson's face took on a faraway look as we started out at the creek. The water seemed to sparkle in the morning sun, as it stretched as far as the eye could see in both directions.

"Funny it seems smaller," I whispered, but Dawson seemed to faraway to hear me. "Dawson! Earth to Dawson!" I snapped my fingers in front of his eyes.

"What?" Dawson snapped back to reality. "Oh, sorry."

"Where were you?" I asked.

"Back," he answered.

"Back?" Now I was confused.

"Nevermind…"

I looked over at where the cars were parked. A black BMW was parked to the side of the house, next to a red Viper. "So, shall we take yours, or borrow Pacey's?" I asked, eyeing what looked like a recently busted tail light, wondering if I really wanted to know how that happened.

"Neither," Dawson answered starting towards the dock.

That was when I saw the old wooden row boat tied to a post. "Dawson, are you crazy?"

"Why not? For old times' sake." When Dawson was determined, I knew there was nothing stopping him, not logic nor reason. It was that tenacity that made me fall for him in the first place.

He stepped into the boat and held his hand out to me.

"Permission to come about, Captain? I asked, allowing myself to succumb to Dawson's boyish sense of adventure yet again. I took his hand and stepped down in the boat, aware of its unsteady rocking under my feet.

"Permission granted." Dawson in fastened the rope, as I sat on the wooden seat, and in no time we were floating away. Dawson sat opposite me and took up the oars.

Suddenly I was fourteen years old again, sitting in that boat pretending we were Huck and Jim, with my eleven year old brother's best friend, who had secretly been crushing on me for the better part of junior high. Not that I was aware of that fact until I found the letter from eighteen year old Dawson years later. Now at 34 years old, Dawson still seemed like that same boy. Hollywood evidently had not changed him.

I pushed away the next thought that had snuck into my head, something i thought too incredible to consider.

"So, I watched _The Creek_ a little while ago." I said.

"Oh, that old thing?" Dawson feigned nonchalance as he waved dismissively. "No really, what did you think?"

"Great, of course." I said.

We began rehashing the entire plot, until we began dissecting season 4, Senior Year, both realising the significance of that season, as Dawson's biopic turned TV teen soap.

"The Gretl scenes weird for me though." I said, referring to the character so clearly representing me.

"Yeah, sure I guess it would be… sorry." Dawson's expression turned to worry for a moment. "Just don't sue me, okay?"

"Are you kidding, Dawson?" I exclaimed. "I'm honoured I made the cut."

"Well you were the great love of my life… other than Joey of course." Dawson paused for a second realising the words that were slipping out of his mouth. "I mean… you know… before Joey, there was you, this romantic fantasy for me." he was faltering as he spoke, like he was suddenly possessed the nervous tongue tied pre-adolescent version of himself.

Neither of us could speak, so we rowed the rest of the way in silence, Dawson returning to that faraway place again, while I was fighting off the same thought that had plagued me the whole time we'd been in the boat. There was a familiar warmth in my heart and in my stomach was the flutter of butterflies emerging from cocoons, I hadn't felt in many years. I fought those off too. Surely after all this time, our past was firmly secured in the past.

As we neared the Leery's dock, Dawson's expression turned to sadness and I followed his gaze to the house next door to the Leery House. A 'SOLD' sign was tacked opposite the letterbox, to the old white picket fence, with peeling paint revealing the woodgrain.

"A terribly sad thing to happen," I said putting my hand on Dawson's shoulder. I remembered Pacey mentioning Jen's passing, which had left Baby Amy motherless. Jack and my brother were raising the child as their own.

Dawson nodded, and I realised he was suddenly too choked up to speak. "Dawson!" what I could only guess was sixteen year old Lilly Leery's voice cut into our mournful silence.

"Lilly!" Dawson cried, as he turned his gaze to the sandy haired girl running arms outstretched towards the dock.

Dawson leapt out of the boat, after barely remembering to tie it to the dock. In his excitement, he still held his hand out to me. I took it and climbed ashore.

As I watched Dawson and Lilly rush to each other and melt into a warm embrace, I marvelled at the reunion of what seemed like two freakishly close siblings and I missed my own brothers and close we once were. I wondered how had I drifted so far away from both of them and our sister Carrie, when Dawson as big a Hollywood big shot as he was still remained close to his kid sister. What were Doug's and Pacey's and Carrie's excuses? What was mine?

"Gretchen! Come, meet my sister, Lilly!" He beckoned to me and I happily obliged. "Lilly, this is Gretchen, Pacey's sister, and an old a friend of mine."

"Hi Lilly, I remember you. You were just a baby when I last saw you." I said.

"Hey," she barely acknowledged me before linking arms with her brother, and leading him towards the house. I tailed behind, a step, watching their animated conversation like a grand slam tennis match between the Williams Sisters.

"Dawson, I'm so glad you're here, Mom's driving me crazy! She's got all these rules now, since Alex and I, you know, got together." Lilly exclaimed.

"You and Alex? When did this happen?" Dawson exclaimed.

"Oh it's new, I'll tell you about it later when we can talk, in private," she added, glancing back at me. I paused mid step, aware that I was encroaching and realising that tagging along wasn't such a great idea. I slowed my steps, desperately searching my head for an excuse to bail. "Anyway Dawson, you've gotta talk to her, make her see reason!"

"Okay, I'll talk to her, but no promises," Dawson said, opening the door to the porch and then the main wooden door, as Lilly dropped Dawson's arm and stepped into the house.

"Mom, Dawson's here!" she called as she charged through the house to the kitchen.

It was then that I started to make up some excuse about needing to see if I was needed with any last minute wedding stuff.

It fell on deaf ears. "Nonsense! That can wait, didn't you want to see Gail?"

"Yeah I did, but we can catch up later at the wedding or something. You should spend some time with just your family Dawson." I started back towards the steps.

"Gretchen, wait!" Dawson exclaimed. I paused. "Stay. I want you to, please?"

"Sure, why not." I followed Dawson into the house.


	5. Chapter 5

"Dawson!" Gail was rushing through the hall, arms outstretched to greet us."Please tell me you're not too old to give your mother a hug!"

"Never!" Dawson said, wrapping his mother into a hug. "How long's it been?" He asked.

"Seems like forever but still not as long as it's been since I saw this lovely face!" Gail said pulling back from Dawson and took a step towards me and seconds later was lightly throwing her arms around me in a warm hug.

"How are you Mrs Leery?" I quickly kissed the air by her cheek.

"Gail!" She corrected me, "Please I insist you call me Gail." She began ushering us through to the living room.

I took a seat next to Dawson on the couch and immediately Lilly emerged and hurried into the room, and squeezing herself between us, forcing me to scooch down a bit.

"So Dawson, tell us about Spielberg. What's it like to work with him?" Lilly demanded.

"Lilly, give him a moment to settle would you!" Gail chastised. "She's been so excited to see her big brother."

"Really it's okay Mom," Dawson beamed at his kids sister and proceeded to talk about his latest gig, working as a First Assistant Director on Spielberg's most recent production. Gail was grinning from ear to ear as she watched Dawson's animated tales about his days on set in what was most certainly a dream come true for Dawson. A fleeting sadness crossed her face and I wondered if she was thinking of her late husband, Mitch. I couldn't help thinking Dawson's father would've been so proud of his success. Mitch had been a man who dared to dream and he encouraged his son to do the same, against some pretty incredible odds. In that moment I realised how proud I was of everything Dawson had achieved.

We all talked for a while, Dawson sharing stories about working with different actors in Hollywood, shedding a small tear for Robin Williams as Dawson talked about the film he had directed that Robin was a feature actor.

Then Gail asked me what I had been doing with myself and I cringed thinking of the job I had just walked out of after fifteen years.

"Well I'm sort of at a crossroads at the moment in my career so I'm making it as an opportunity to take a breath and reevaluate things." I explained, hoping my glossed over version of my miserable situation would suffice.

"Oh, well I sure you'll figure it out. How long are you in Capeside?" Gail asked.

Well I've come back for the wedding mainly but I don't know, I thought maybe of sticking around Capeside awhile… nothing's concrete though," I added.

"Of course." Gail nodded. " Well there's always a position at the Restaurant for you," Gail said. "You always were one of my best cocktail waitress."

"You know what's, Gail. I'll think about it."

Then Lilly nudged Dawson, leaned over and whispered something in his ear.

"So Lilly," Dawson said. " You and Alexander huh? How did that all happen?"

Lilly blushed. "Prom," Lilly answered. He asked me to go, you know as friends, but little did I know he had been crushing on me, like I was on him and we danced...he kissed me…" Lilly giggled, oblivious of Dawson's smile.

"Wow, history repeats itself, hwy Mom?" Dawson looked over at his mother whose face turned serious.

"Yes, well we've since removed the ladder in light of this new development and we are still finding common ground on this." Gail explained.

"Meaning, mum's being totally unfair about it. I'm not aloud to go to the BnB anymore after dark and Alex can't stay over anymore." Lilly wined. "It's like she's forgotten what it's like to be young and in love."

"Well that's not entirely true," Dawson interjected, referring to the countless number of times he'd found his parents in the kitchen carrying out the very act that Gail was clearly hoping to avoid happening between her daughter and Alex.

"Don't worry Lilly, our Dad did the same thing when I was your age. Do you remember Mom?"

Gail nodded "And I know he would do the same thing now too."

"So unfair!" Lilly complained.

"Lilly," I said. "Your Mom is just concerned that you and Alex might take certain steps in your relationship that neither are you are ready for."

Lilly whipped her head around and glared at me. "I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Lilly!" Gail exclaimed. "Since when do you speak to guests in that tone?"

"Since they butt into stuff that doesn't concern them!"

"I was just trying to help!" I protested, wishing now that I hadn't said anything at all. "You're right Lilly, this has nothing to do with me. None of it should make any difference to me. It's your life." I said, trying to keep my cool.

"It's okay, thank you Gretchen," Gail said. "Lilly, you will apologise to Gretchen."

"Fine! Sorry." It was the most insincere apology if ever received, but I shrugged it off. "I've got homework to do. I'll be in my room." Lilly stood up abruptly and glided towards the staircase. "Dawson come see my room, when you're done here."

"I'll be up soon." Dawson said and then Lilly was gone.

"Gretchen I am so sorry." Gail said. "I don't know what's going on with her lately. Ever since this whole Alex thing she's been a nightmare."

"Really, it's okay, Gail. It's a teenage girl thing I think" I reassured. "I'm sure I gave my parents just as much attitude growing up."

Dawson shook his head and chuckled. "Aw Mom, she's in love." He said, in Lilly's defence. "When we were that age, nothing could keep me and Joey away from each other, and then there was a certain overprotective Mother who suddenly set a curfew the night Gretchen and I went to a club with her friends."

"Yes I remember. I think I learned a lot from raising you but I hate to say it, she might take after her big brother in a lot of ways, but Lilly is different to you in a lot of ways Dawson." Gail said, giving no indication that she was anywhere close to budging on this one.

"Mom, I wish you luck."

Then changing the subject he exclaimed, "I see the Ryan house has new own owners."

"It's so wonderful isn't it?" Gail said.

"What do you mean? Have you already met your new neighbour?" Dawson asked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact and so have you." Dawson looked genuinely as confused as I was. "It's such a lovely thing, Andie did for Jack and Doug, and to think, Amy will get to grow up living in the same house her mother grew up in."

"Andie bought the house, when do they move in?" Dawson asked.

"They're waiting until after the wedding, to completely move in but they're already moving some stuff over there." Gail explained.

"I think Jen would've wanted that for her daughter," Dawson mused, thinking about the girl that had stepped out of the cab and into his heart. Their romantic lives together had been short-lived both times, but Jen Lindley remained one of Dawson's best friends, right up until her tragic passing. Amy had been a baby and with Jen's Grandmother's frail age and life expectancy uncertain, Amy was left with Jack to raise. Andie was Jack's sister, a neurologist living in Boston. Jack and Andie remained close and Andie, having not yet had a schools of her own, enjoyed being an aunt to Amy. I wondered if she would make it to the wedding, given her busy work schedule.

"Well," I said, breaking the heavy silence that had settled over us," I guess I should go see if I'm needed for anything, with the wedding."

"Oh! Should I come with you?" Dawson asked?

"No, stay. Catch up with your mom, and Lilly." I said, standing up. "Gail it's been so good to see you."

"You too Gretchen." Gail said "Remember the offer still stands, you know with the job at the Restaurant."

"I will definitely think about it. Thank you." I said.

Dawson stood also. "At least let me walk you out." I thought of no reason to refuse.

"I am sorry about what happened with Lilly." He said once we were out on the porch.

"It's fine." I said.

"Gretchen, I'm glad you came with me." He said.

"Me too." I said a little too quick.

"Are you okay?" Dawson asked.

"It's fine I've got some stuff on my mind that's all. Nothing for you to worry about." I reassured him. "I'll see you back at the BnB after?"

"Sure." He said. "It's a date."


	6. Chapter 6

I wished I had suggested my car, as I climbed into the small boat and untied it from the dock. The row back to the BnB was not the pleasant trip down Memory lane as it had been that morning with Dawson. Throwing all my embarrassment and frustration, as well as all thoughts of rekindling a romance with Dawson into each stroke of the oars, the boat still didn't reach the Potters' dock quick enough. After what felt like an eternity of fighting back tears, to no avail, I reached the shore.

I tied the rope to the post and, not feeling ready to face anyone yet, I sat in that rocky little boat and just let the tears fall. There were so many reasons I was crying, that I couldn't begin to dissect them all.

As kids we would all joke about catching the Capeside Bug, that feeling of being stuck in a life we neither wanted nor could see an escape from. There was nothing like being my old job at Leery's Fresh Fish, as a blunt reminder that I really was stuck on the in between, just like I had been when I left college.

Dawson Leery, just as he was then, was like the lighthouse welcoming the lost and guiding them home from sea, while at the same time exposing them for the hot mess they were, only I was the one lost at sea. The trouble was I wasn't looking to be found.

Painfully aware that I was sitting in a boat in open air on a large creek bed, I felt completely exposed. I forced myself to regain composure and scooped some water up in my hands and splashed my face, hoping to wash away and blotchiness that tears usually left on my face. I stepped out of the boat onto the dock and quickly walked up the bank to the BnB, hoping to make a discreet entrance, slinking to my room, but luck, as usual lately, was not on my side.

"Hey Gretchen, could you give me a hand with something?" Joey was wearing a beige robe and her hair was in curlers, all but one strand which appeared to be knotted as it tangled itself around a curler. She looked completely frazzled as she led me into her room that she shared with Pacey.

"I seriously should have booked a hair appointment but there has just been no time, with the BnB and Alex, and ongoing calls with my editor and publishers breathing down my neck…" Joey was rambling now and I was grateful for the distraction and her oblivion to my mood which I was trying and finding surprisingly easy to mask.

"Oh, of course, your book! Pacey did mention something last we spoke. How's that going?" I asked.

"I'm hoping to have more time to dedicate to finishing it after the excitement of this wedding dies down." She said, "but with running the BnB, I just am grabbing small pockets of time, and Alex he's about to take finals so it's important that he gets the study time I never got, but he's still shouldering so much responsibility."

"He's so incredibly grown up, isn't he, but is he coping, you know with everything… with Bessie?" I asked.

"He's putting on a brave face," Joey answered, "but he's eighteen years old with no Mom, his Dad is so busy at Leery's trying to scrape in enough cash and Alex… it's like he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders."

I nodded. I motioned for Joey to sit and I began untangling the first curl, before proceeding with the rest. "That can't be easy," I said.

"I've been there, as you know, and it's not. I know the burden of having to grow up fast, when I was just a kid, and having all the responsibility of an adult before I was ready. I don't want that for him, it sucks!" Joey was holding back tears as she said this. "I want him to go to college. I want him to have the chance to see the world and expand his horizons, before settling here. Now I know what Bessie must've gone through raising me and running the IceHouse and then this place. We considered selling up, especially Bodie, i mean i know its painful for him, all the reminders of Bessie everywhere, but Alex wants this place, and I kind of don't want to see it go. It was kind of my mom's dream and Bessie poured her soul into making it happen. It's as much his connection to his Mom as its been for me to mine."

"Of course. He's so incredibly brave, and so are you." My thoughts then went to my brother and wondered how much of it all he had been shouldering." So with Pacey busy with the restaurant…" I started.

"Pacey's been our rock through all of this." Joey said. "He's just hired a sous chef so he can step back from the restaurant a little, and help with all this and the baby… he's been amazing."

I pulled the last of the curlers out of Joey's hair and without hesitation, set about styling her hair, knowing Joey's preference for simplicity over glamour, I rubbed some product onto my hands and then began detangling all her curls with my fingers before, lightly scrunching them a little, so her curls sat gently around her shoulders. I parted her hair to one side and swept it across her forehead, fastening it with pins.

"You're really quite good at this stuff Gretchen." Joey gushed, handing me a clip with a small arrangement of white babies' breaths.. "I think you might have missed your calling as a hairstylist."

"I wouldn't go that far,"I brushed it off. "I'm just happy I can help, somehow. It seems everything else has been taken care of. My brother has left nothing to chance."

"Of course." Joey agreed. "Gretchen, I'm glad you came for the wedding, Pacey and I wondered if you would."

"I'll admit it's strange to be back, seeing Dawson again, Doug and my folks, though I'm putting that off as long as I can, but family's family and I wouldn't miss this for the world. Unlike Carrie's wedding, I have no doubt this Witter marriage will stick."

"I sure hope so." Joey said. "You know what, you haven't had to get yourself ready!"

"Oh it'll be fine. It's not about me." I said.

"On the contrary!"Joey smiled. " Really, I've got it from here, go do what you need to."

I returned the smile. I quickly did one last check over of Joey's hair, before applying some more hairspray. "Okay I will. Come get me when it's time to go."

Joey nodded and then I retreated to my room. Suddenly I felt, in comparison to Joey and Pacey and Alex, and what they were all going through, that my problems seemed insignificant.


	7. Chapter 7

Joey Potter looked stunning, baby bump and all in the simple mid-calf length mauve dress with the while lace overlay, as she stepped out onto the porch beside. Although as bridesmaids we were wearing the same thing, I couldn't help thinking it

complimented her skin tone slightly better than mine.

"So we're all set to go?" I asked.

"Yeah, we are just waiting on Alexander, he's our chauffeur today, Joey answered. "Andie is running late so she'll meet us there."

"Great!" I said. "Gail mentioned it was iffy she would even make it."

"Are you kidding? It's Jack's big day. I'm just sad their Dad is not coming." Joey said.

"Oh?" I exclaimed. "Oh…!" I continued when Joey scrunched up her face and did that little shrug she she does when she's trying to say something without saying it.

I knew what she had meant. Jack's father had never found a way to truly accept that his son was gay, and always treated it like a phase or a situation that Jack would eventually get help to fix when he was ready to 'come to his senses'. When Doug finally came out my Dad reacted pretty much the same. It didn't matter that Doug, and Jack for that matter, were finally accepting who they are and had people around them that accepted them also. Now that the two had found happiness together Mom had made peace with it… sort of. Before Dad died, Doug waited for the acknowledgement he wanted but would never get from the Sheriff, and for reinstatement of his status as the favourite son.

That day we stood on the porch and each pondered what surge the event would send through the Cape's fragile status quo. Jack had been the first to come out. Then he'd been the first openly gay teacher hired at Capeside high (although there had been whisperings about Mr Gould, but nothing confirmed). Then the then "Deputy Doug" became the first gay cop in the town, and since became the first gay Sheriff.

Together, raising Amy, they became the first gay parents in Capeside. For Amy of course that meant being the first (and possibly the only kid) with gay parents. All of this had not gone in noticed nor without prejudice, but at each stage they all dealt with it, because they had each other and they had friends around them whom were like family. Because of that support network they had built around Amy, especially, I knew that this too they would all get through and those of us who mattered to them would be happy for them that they, amid all the challenges and family turmoil were finding happiness.

The jingle of the car keys in Alex's hand snapped both Joey and me out our separate reveries. "Are we set to go?" He asked. We both nodded. " "This is so awesome! I can't believe Pacey is letting me drive the Viper!"

"Neither can I," Joey said, "Enjoy the privilege and don't, I mean don't even get a dent on it. Pacey's still getting over the last one you put in it on Prom night."

"I know, I just wish I could somehow repay him for it, if he'd let me." Alex said, hanging his head.

"Well just don't put another one in it." Joey reiterated as we all made our way down the steps and over to the car. Alex and I walked ahead, leaving Joey waddling behind us holding her belly, so that he could open the door for us and put the front seat forward for me to climb in the back.

"I wondered how that dent happened." I said. "What did you do?"

"I uh - dinged it… parking… just parking," he trailed off realising he was sharing too much. I did my best to shut that image out of my head as I remembered the discussion Gail and Dawson and Lilly were having that morning.

I settled into the back seat, as Alex put the seat back, after first checking I had enough leg room. Then he helped his Aunt, who had finally made it to the car, into the front seat. He started to help her with her seatbelt, but Joey put hers up in in front of her, forcing him to back away with the famous Joey Potter glare that meant 'back off.' "I'm pregnant not an invalid," she said, just as she had when I offered to help make the coffee that morning. Unsurprisingly Joey Potter was never good at accepting help.

"Sorry," Alex muttered and shut the door. He climbed into the driver's seat and started the car flawlessly. Then after stalling twice, he put the car in the right gear and away we went to the Yacht Club, where the ceremony would be soon underway. Andie was already there, in a matching mauve dress, waiting with bouquets of flowers for each of us. The sight of suited figure, with the mostly grey hair, standing beside her made my jaw drop.

"I guess someone grew a pair and decided to be a father at last ", Joey muttered as we pulled up, and both Alex and I were thankful the car windows were sound proof.

"Maybe…" I exclaimed, as I watched Mr McPhee paste a smile on his face while greeting other guests.

Alex flawlessly parked the car, put the hand brake on and turned off the inition. Swiftly he climbed out, walked around to Joey's door to open it. He took his Aunt's hand and helped her stand up. She was already hugging Andie and taking one of the bouquets she was holding. Cradling the mix of white and pink flowers like a child in her arms, she flashed MrPhee a quick smile, "I'm glad you made it," she said to Andie, but shooting her eyes quickly over to Jack's father, revealed that she had found a nicer way to say what she'd blurted out in the car.

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world!" I heard Mr McPhee say a little too enthusiastically, as I climbed out of the car. Alex put the seat back and closed the door, pocketing his keys before he disappeared through the main entrance, I suspected, to find Lilly.

"I should go in too and be seated," McPhee announced and followed suit. I could tell he was grateful for an escape from any prying eyes that weren't part of our gathering.

"It's great to see you again, Andie," said giving her a quick hug.

"You too, Gretchen." she handed me the second bouquet of flowers. "Well, I guess we should go in too and wait." She said.

"Not without us, you're not." and I turned around quickly to see where the voice had come from. It was then I saw Jack and a girl who looked to be eleven or twelve, who was easily recognisable as Jen's daughter, because she had inherited her mother's blond hair, blue eyes and broad smile.

Hi Jack, good to see you," I greeted the man, who was about to chain himself to my brother in matrimony. "And you, beautiful lady must be Amy." I held my hand out to shake her hand.

"You're my aunt Gretchen, right?" She responded. "Dad said you would be coming." She stepped forward, ignoring my outstretched hand. "He asked me to give you this." To my surprise she wrapped her small arms around my waist. Instinctively I recovered quickly and returned the hug. For the first time, I really felt like I had made the right decision to come home to the Cape. My eyes were starting to blur, as I contemplated the thought of actually belonging there that day.

"Now look what you've made me do!" I joked.

"Well," Jack said, "Now we can all go in."

Pulling out of our hug, Amy linked arms with Jack and they lead our little procession through the club foyer until we reached the threshold of the fancy function room, where we would wait for our cue.


	8. Chapter 8

The crowd turned as Joey, Andie an I entered the function room, and proceeded to the altar where my two brothers, Dawson and Bodie were waiting. It seemed like everyone who was anyone in Capeside were in that room, all eyes boring into our skins. Some were filled with judgement, but most were filled with love for the two men whose nuptials we were about to witness.

I spied my mother at a table near the front with my sisters, dabbing tears away from her eyes as Audrey Liddell's sultry vocals washed over the room with a cover of 'Feels Like Home'. Feeling a little teary myself in the moment, I caught Dawson's eyes.

They were sparkling as they met mine. "Hey," he mouthed.

"Hey," I mouthed back as I stood in position beside my brothers, between Pacey and Alexander. Joey and Andie stood either side of Dawson and we all waited for Jack's entrance.

Right on cute, arm in arm with a beaming Amy, he made his way towards us. Everyone oohed at how sweet Amy looked beside him. "She looks just like her Mom," I whispered to Pacey.

"I know one things certain," my brother whispered back. "Jen would be so proud of how she turned out."

When Jack was in place, standing before Doug, he and Amy unlinked arms and Jack took Doug's hands in his.

Andrey finished the sing and a hush fell over the room. Then the celebrant, a latino woman in her 50s, began to speak. "Dearly beloved we are gathered to celebrate the marriage of Jack McPhee and Douglas Witter. Who stands for these men to give blessing for this union?"

"I do," My mother stood suddenly, still dabbing her eyes with a kleenex and stood beside Amy.

"I do," Amy said proudly.

"And who has the rings?" the celebrant continued.

"I do," Amy repeated, opening a small white pouch. She took out two simple gold bands and handed them to the celebrant. Then she joined my mother at the table while the ceremony proceeded.

When it was over the room was filled with a thunderous applause as people began standing. Almost immediately I followed the entire wedding party filed outside for photos, with Mom and Amy, my sisters and Jack's dad in tow.

"Well my son certainly has a flair for the dramatic," I overheard Mr McPhee say to my Mom. "Was there a need for Jack to make an entrance like that?"

"Oh, Mr McPhee they did it that way for Amy. It's a special day for her too." I butted in before I could stop myself.

"Hmph!" He grunted.

"It really was a lovely ceremony," my mother gushed. "So Pacey, when are you two going to hitched?" She asked, gesturing to Joey.

"We haven't really discussed that, Mrs Witter." Joey answered.

"Mom, simmer!" I said. "Let's just get through the formalities."

"Anyway what's the rush? This is Dougie's day, and Jack's and Amy's." Pacey jumped in.

"Well just don't wait til that kid is in college before you at least pop the question," Mom said, indicating that though it was benched, this discussion was not over.

I threw Pacey and Joey empathic glances as we all lined up in the same formation as during the ceremony, for a photo. I stood and waited as the almost eighty years old photographer pondered over the shot. "That just won't do," he muttered, stepping forward to take my arm. He led me over to a space between Dawson and Joey and proceeded to escort Joey to my original space, between Pacey and Bodie. "Ah, that's much better," he said, stepping back to admire this new arrangement. I glanced at Dawson, rolling my eyes when his met mine.

"Creative types, huh?" Dawson whispered, leaning in close enough for me to smell his aftershave. As he'd winked, I trembled as old feelings again resurfaced.

"Okay, now on the count of three I want you all to say 'cheese'!" the photographer called, positioning his camera to take the photo. After several flashes and clicks of the fancy DSLR camera, Amy, Mom and Mr McPhee were asked to join in for the next picture.

Amy stood between Jack and Doug in the front while Mom squeezed in between my brothers. Mr McPhee swallowed awkwardly as he reluctantly took a place between myself and Andie. We all smiled again for the camera.

Later when the photos were over, along with the banquet and the speeches, Jack and Doug were asked onto the dancefloor for their first dance as a married couple. The music began and more than a little tipsy Audrey again took to the little stage to the side of the room and began a slow bluesy rendition of 'I Want You to Want Me'. The room erupted in applause as the two men embraced and began to sway to the music as if they were the only people in the room. They shared a quick kiss as the song ended and Audrey began singing 'I'll Stand By You'.

As the dancefloor began filling up with guests, Dawson who was sitting next to me stood, holding his hand out to me. "Shall we?" He asked.

"Sure," I answered knowing exactly what he was asking. I rose, took his hand and he led me to the floor. He pulled me close to him, taking me by surprise.

"Too much?" He asked loosening his hold on me.

"Not at all," I said. "This… is nice," I added before I could stop myself.

I settled into his arms and rested my head lightly on his shoulder. I could feel his chin pressing against my head, but giving into the now overwhelming feelings swirling around my body, I realised I didn't mind. It actually felt again like I was home.


	9. Chapter 9

Neither noticing that the song had ended, we stayed in that warm embrace, swaying gently. It was as if everyone and everything had faded away. I could feel Dawson's thumbs lightly making little arcs in the small of my back, and I realised how much I'd missed being held the way Dawson held me. Was it Dawson's touch I missed or simply the tenderness of being touched? That I wasn't sure.

Finally I peeled my cheek away from his shoulder and dared to meet his gaze. His eyes possessed a far away look and I wondered if he was reminiscing also.

"Hey there!" He smiled as he whispered, his voice was barely audible over the fast Gwen Stefani number Audrey had been belting out.

"Hey," I replied, returning his smile. I darted my eyes away, suddenly aware that he might see in them the thoughts that were swimming around my head.

He leaned down until his lips were just inches from mine. I froze. It had been a decade. Could we go there again, together, and recapture that magic? We were both different people, in two different places, and it ended the first time. Who was to say it wouldn't end the same way, with Dawson headed off to California and me running to the complete opposite coast, as fast as I could, but then again, who was to say it would?

His lips had barely grazed my when I pulled away.

"I have to get some air!" I exclaimed quickly and, needing to think, I shot out of the reception room. I didn't stop until I was out on the dock, where the infamous Abby Morgan had fallen to her death. I could barely catch a breath, nor taste the beautiful eastern sea breeze. I stared at the lights bouncing on the water and wondered how easy it would be to fall in too and disappear. I forced my lungs open with as deep a breath as I could take and sighed as I exhaled.

I was half relieved and half disappointed that Dawson hadn't followed. I avoided him for the rest of the night.

As soon as we reached the BnB, later that night, I bolted inside straight to my room, heaved my duffle off the floor and dumped it on my bed. I tore off my dress and stuffed it into the bag. I dug around for my pyjamas and the next day's outfit, skinny jeans and a faded blue tank top. I placed them on the desk, ready to throw on in the early hours and sneak away before the dawn. I zipped up my bag and dumped it on the floor.

Holding my toiletry bag, I crept passed Dawson's room to the bathroom, pausing at his door only long enough to realise he had not come back yet. He, Bodie and Pacey had lingered at the reception while an exhausted Joey, Alex and I retired for the night.

Relieved, I continued down the hall, past Alex's room, where just as he had the night before was cradling his mother's photo and sobbing. He met my eyes and he looked away. Seconds later he was at the door, shutting himself away.

In the bathroom, I quickly removed my make-up and brushed my teeth. It was as I was pulling pins out of my ear, that I heard the piercing scream from the direction of Joey and Pacey's room. "Gretchen! Alex! Somebody! Oh god it's coming!"

I shot down the hall, almost crashing into Alex, to where Joey was hunched over, holding her huge stomach.

"Are you sure?" I asked, hoping to God it was a false labour. A moment like that was crucial and required someone who knew what to do, not a child, no matter how mature he was for his years, nor failure like me.

"What do you think, of course it's coming!" she screeched.

"Call Pacey, Dawson, Gail, or anyone you can until someone answers." Alex was already by her side, comforting his aunt and coaching her to breathe.

"Won't an ambulance be quicker?" I asked.

"Not in our tax bracket," Joey muttered and then let out another scream, before I could ask what she meant.

I bolted back to my room and found my phone. First I tried my brother. The phone went to message bank, twice. The second time I left a message. "Pacey! Gretchen. Pick up or come home. Baby's coming now!"

I was already on my way back to Joey, who's breaths were short and sharp, only intercepted with screams of pain. Alex was still by her side, rubbing her back as she rocked backwards and forwards on the balls of her swollen feet. She was clutching the bed with one hand, clawing at the rumpled doona and still holding her stomach with the other hand.

"I can't get Pacey," I said. "I'll try Gail."

I scrolled past Dawson's name and tapped on the second Leery name in my phone.

It barely rang, when Gail picked up and I was relieved not to have to call Dawson.

"Gretchen?" She answered.

"Gail! The baby's coming!" I said, putting her quickly on speaker.

"How far apart?" she asked.

"3 minutes," Alex answered. Joey screamed again. "Make that 2."

"Okay, there's not much time I'll be there as soon as I can. Call Dawson. I think Pacey and Bodie are still with him at the club."

My heart sank. "Okay."

I quickly ended the call and stared at Dawson's number for what felt like an eternity before I pulled myself together to call him.

"Dawson!" I said before he could say more than 'hello'. "Get Pacey home. Joey's having the baby. Your mom's on her way way!"

Dawson began to speak but Pacey's slurred voice cut in. "Gretchen, say that again?" He sounded half shocked.

"Oh my god, I think my water just broke!" Joey cried. I looked at the floor at her feet and sure enough, there was a puddle of water.

"Brace yourself, little brother. You're going to be a dad tonight."

"I guess the party's over, man," he said, I assumed, to Dawson. "We're on our way. Dawson, you're driving."

They hung up and I felt suddenly lighter.

With nothing left to do but wait, I took over from Alex with the back rub, while he ran, on Joey's instructions to get towels and some warm water.

"Gretchen, I'm scared," she said as Alex disappeared.

"You're going to be fine," I said, struggling for words to say. "Just keep up your breathing."

"Now I know the hell Bessie went through with Alexander."

"Thank god for Grams," I said after Joey told the story of the night she rowed her sister to Dawson's, where Jen's grandmother, a retired midwife had met them. Never had I wished Grams was still alive than that moment. Joey must've have thought the same thing because she said, "Grams would know what to do."

"Well Gail will be here soon and Dawson is driving Pacey home."

"He's been drinking?" Joey screeched. "I should've known."

"You'll be fine," I repeated.

"Great, the first thing this baby is going to know of it's father will be the stench of whiskey on Pacey's breath!" Joey muttered. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she let out another scream between sobs.

I was relieved to see Alex return, followed by Gail who straight away was soothing Joey and laying her back on the bed, making her as comfortable as she could.

I was rooted to the floor, frozen, watching the scene as if in a fog and I could barely hear Gail call my name. "Gretchen! Gretchen!" I snapped to attention. "Gretchen, hold her hand."

Automatically I moved to the bed, and sat on the edge, taking Joey's hand. "Gretchen, when she squeezes your hand just squeeze back. Don't worry," she said seeing my eyes wide with fear. Joey screamed again and squeezed my hand, almost crushing my bones. "Squeeze back," she said. "You're both going to be fine."

'Pull yourself together, Gretchen!' I thought and focused on matching Joey's grip. That was how Pacey and Dawson found us. Pacey immediately flopped onto the bed. "I've got this, now Gretchen," he said, as Joey dropped my hand and immediately reached for Pacey's. Shaking the stiffness out if mine, I stood up. I started to back away, but Pacey looked at me with panicked eyes. "Don't leave. We need you here. I need you," he added.


	10. Chapter 10

At 7 pounds, 8 ounces, the newest member of the Witter clan burst, screaming, into the world, in the early hours of the morning, while a room full of our family friends and family watched on in support. Even the newlywed's stalled their 'honeymoon' night, to await our niece, as well as Andie who had originally agreed to look after Amy for the night.

By sun-up she was swaddled in a lilac crochet blanket, snug in Joey's arms and feeding, while my brother gazed lovingly at his new daughter.

Through tired brown eyes, tears of joy leaked as Joey cradled her little girl, and soothed her as crying subsided and she slipped into a deep.

"Great, I do all the work, and you're exhausted?" Joey stroked the thin tuft of hair on the child's crown and smiled as she spoke. "Just like her Daddy," she added.

"Hey, ease up there Potter!" Pacey smiled as he shot his wife a playful retort. "I do my fair share!"

"Yes, Honey, you do."

There was a chorus of laughter in the room.

"Okay, folks, the show's over!" Pacey proclaimed. "It's time that my wife and daughter have some privacy while they get to know each other."

"Or sleep," Joey interjected.

"Celebratory drinks all round!" Dawson declared, as we all filed out.

"Gretch, you're joining us, I hope," Pacey said, and the pleading look on his face indicated that there was no slipping away in the early hours as I had originally planned.

Gail generously opened her home for the celebrations, making it the perfect eventual exit for Jack and Doug, who stayed for a round of Gail's supply of champagne, before retreating. Amy had gone straight to the hotel with with Andie.

It was Dawson who led the toast, but everyone was smiling ear to ear, as they raised their glasses "to the new arrival".

As I sipped from my glass, my eyes wandered to the sandy haired man, who seemed to revel in his brief moment in the limelight. I wondered if he was secretly wishing the child had been his. Was ours the only flame Dawson was reminiscing?

It was no secret Dawson harboured feelings for Joey for many years after their relationship ended and even their reconciliation had ended in disaster before it began. While the rest of us were relieved that Joey had stopped running and finally made a choice, Dawson knew it was time to let go.

Not used to losing, he'd retreated to Hollywood and buried himself in his teenage nostalgia, disguised as his Emmy nominated success, _The Creek_.

His eyes met mine and he winked. Was I, again, the consolation prize he sought?

"I'm pretty beat, guys," I began, following Jack and Doug's announcement of their exit. "I think I'm going to go." Dawson's face fell, but he said nothing.

"Wait, I have something I need you to hear." It was Pacey who spoke and his eyes were yet again pleading and again I caved and stayed. Jack and Doug hung back also.

"I'm sure Joey would be okay with announcing this, but we've discussed it at length. First, I want to announce that we've decided on a name. We've decided to call our little girl, Jennifer. Jennifer Lillie Witter." There was not a dry eye in the room as he spoke. Gail passed around a box of cleenex and everyone dabbed at their eyes. "Now, what we've also discussed is who we want as Godparents, and we all know how important that role could be, -" Jack clenched his jaw to hide the quiver in his bottom lip, thinking of how Amy had become the integral part in his life, "- and decided that there are no two people we'd rather ask than Dawson and Gretchen."

"Me?" Dawson and I asked at the same time.

Everyone laughed through their tears. As the news sunk in, Dawson and I joined in the merriment, as we clinked our glasses a second time.

Following the announcement, I finished my third glass of Champagne and made a quiet retreat, but I hadn't gone unnoticed. Dawson followed me out to the porch.

"Gretchen, what's going on? Is it something I've done?" Dawson asked, grabbing my elbow.

"Dawson please, just let me go!"

He let go, but he continued after me as I sped up, unsure of how I would get back to the BnB. I hadn't thought that far ahead. Dawson however had.

"Gretchen! At least let me take you back"

"That's not a good idea."

"Why not? Give me a good reason."

"I can't be around you. It hurts too much." Dawson reeled, as if he'd been slapped. "I'm sorry," I added. "We can't go back!"

"Who said anything about going back?" he asked.

I stopped and turned to face him. "Dawson, you're still there. I can see it, when you look at Joey the way you still do, your whole show about your relationship with her, and then you look at me now like I'm 'the one', when we both know I'd be just a consolation prize. Surely you can see it too, that we might be older and in different places, but nothing has changed."

"Not fair," Dawson said in that calm voice that I could tell had undertones I didn't want to explore. I didn't need to. "You left! That summer before graduation, I was ready to make the leap and go with you, just like Mr Brookes and his girl."

"I had to go - alone, Dawson. It hurt to, but look at what you would've missed out on if I'd stayed. Ask yourself if you would still have made _The Creek_ , would you now, be, directing with Spielberg, had I waited for you?" I exclaimed. "And how long would I have waited for you to be truly happy with me and not pining for Joey?" I asked.

"At no time have I ever wished you to be anyone else, especially not Joey. Yes I loved her, I still do."

"That's what I'm saying," I said.

"I love her as my best friend, and I love Pacey, my god I am so proud of that man last night, and of Joey too, and I have long ago let go of any notion that she and i would ever again be more. She's happy, they are happy and they deserve to be. I would be a fool to mess that up for them, besides," he continued. "I know, now, why that wasn't meant to be, with Joey. I guess in the back of my mind I've always known, and it's clear now, standing here looking at you!".

"Dawson…" Tears streamed down as I tried to speak.

"Gretchen," he stepped closer and for the first time I lost the urge to run. "I'm glad you came back this weekend so I could say this to you, I loved you long before I even contemplated anything other than friendship with Joey." He cupped my face in his hands.

"That was just a crush. You were twelve!" I rebutted, laughing.

"Who cares," he said. "My point is, it's you I'm supposed to be with. I know that now and this time I'm not letting you go."

"Dawson, I -," but before I could utter another syllable, his lips were pressed to mine and, no longer desiring to resist, I returned his kiss equally matching his passion.

"So what will it be, Gretchen?" He asked when our lips finally parted. "I know we have a lot to work out, like which end of this country should I, or you be, but it's not impossible."

"Yes," I answered, falling easily into his embrace. "Let's try."


End file.
